Perspective

Perspective is a funny thing. When you need it the most, it's often hard to find. It lurks around dark corners, waiting to pounce on you when you least expect it. But when you find it... or when it finds you... well, everything just becomes clear.

Our perspective ran into us on Thursday night...literally. I was in route to the cafeteria from the cardio step-down unit. I was rounding to corner to get to the elevators when BAM!! I ran right into some poor women rounding the same corner, going the opposite direction. And there they were... There must of been 30 of them, all crowded into a tiny waiting room outside the PICU. I recognized the Mom from the PICU- (they moved into the room next to us literally 30 minutes before we left the PICU. )There were so many of them... I felt awkward waiting for elevator, like I was invading their personal space. But, they were still there when I returned from dinner. And, they were still there, curled up with blankets and pillows, when I arrived early the next morning. The '30' had dwindled to about 10... but that was still more people than the tiny area could comfortably accomodate. Later that next afternoon, I saw clergy talking with them. They were gone by the time I arrived Sunday morning.

There were so many 'surprises' with Shawna's first cardiology appointment. And I was so angry and frustrated... wondering if I had been intentionally deceived or just been given incomplete information. And now.. I still wonder about those things. I guess that I always will. But at that moment, I was grateful and content. At that moment, I imagined all that I had seen.. in the PICU, at the Ronald Macdonald house, and even in step-down. If I could take all of 'that', toss it in a grab bag, and shake it up... well, I realized that I would reach in and grab Shawna's condition in a heartbeat. Even if it was beating on the wrong side.

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