There are no words

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Grieving ....

It was so incredibly painful to witness. Huayou grieved for hours after we got back to the hotel. It was a different kind of cry. Not a "I'm hungry" scream or even "Hello- come and get me" type of cry. No- this was a deep, painful belly cry with huge crocodile tears. It was if she looked at us with so much to say. Her tears told a story of her painful past. And, she just wanted us to know. Lori M. Baylor

Meeting Huayou

Monday Aug 31st. Gotcha Day!

It's difficult to capture all of our thoughts and emotions regarding the events of Gotcha day... but I'll give it a whirl. We arrived at the Civil Affairs office at 3 pm. Within minutes, two ladies walked in... with a baby! At first, we didn't even know if it was Huayou. Frankly, it was all a blur! Huayou was desparately clinging to her nanny. The nanny tried to pry her off to hand her to us, but I quickly put a stop to it. I've heard horror stories of these poor terrified children being abruptly ripped away from their caregivers and handed over to complete strangers! We had one hour with the nannies at the Civil Affairs office. No need to make the transition any more difficult for Huayou. She doesn't know us. We look funny. And she can't understand us. She cried and cried. As you can see from the photos.. so did I. It was so painful to watch. She was soo scared. So confused. The nanny got all misty too. That really did me in! Of course, the nanny only speaks Mandarin. So, we had to rely on our guide, Mike, to translate for us. The nanny told us about her eating and sleeping schedule. She said that Huayou is a 'very good girl.' She likes to imitate adults and her favorite toy is the nanny's cell phone! What a hoot!! Eventually, Huayou went to Daddy. She still was crying, but she at least let him hold her. As we've said before, we wanted her to cry. Not because of the pain, but because the tears indicate that she is aware, and she has formed an attachment to her caregivers. And that's a good thing. Lori M. Baylor

Downtown Chongqing and Paperwork

It feels the same

We are at T minus two hours until we get our girl. I am a nervous, emotional wreck. It's a little embarassing actually. But, it feels very similar to Sara's birth. Because Sara was a scheduled section, I knew exactly when she would arrive and was exceptionally anxious the entire morning, pacing, crabby, etc. Really, the only difference this round? I'm not in a goofy hospital gown with a bunch of IVs protruding from my hand and I can lay on my back without my belly crushing my lungs!!! I was pacing the floors this morning, waiting for 10 am to arrive, emotional and a wee bit crabby.

At 10 am, we met with our guide, Mike. He helped us process all of our pre-adoption paperwork. Within all the documents, we had to promise to never abuse or abandon our daughter three times. Really. That exact verbiage was written in three different documents. Mike also presented us with a copy of her 'finding ad' from the Chongqing Legal Newspaper. It was an ad, dated 7/21/08, looking for her parents...a mugshot of her with a brief description. Even though I couldn't actually read it, I got all misty looking at it.

I can't help thinking about her parents... how awful it must have been to leave her at the gate of the SWI. I can't imagine having to make that choice, yet so many Chinese mothers are forced to abandon their daughters. And, in just a few short days, she will be half a world away from Xiushan. Half a world away from her birth parents, her heritage, and everything that she has ever known. My heart aches for her birth mother. My heart bleeds for our daughter. Its going to be such a scary day for her. Leaving the orphanage. An 8 hour train ride. Strange people. A strange hotel. A different bed. No other kids. A language she doesn't understand. And circumstances she doesn't understand.

I'm excited and anxious... But ultimately just really worried about our little girl. And I am just praying that we can find a way to comfort her thru this transition.
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Cloisonne Factory and Temple of Heaven

Arrived in Chongqing

We are in Chongqing! It was dark when we arrived, but the city looks really cool! Kind of a cross between Las Vegas lights and Manhattan skyline.

Much to my pleasant surprise, the Howard Johnson hotel here is absolutely gorgeous. Seriously. One of the nicest hotels that I have ever stayed. We are especially grateful for the soft, western style bed. (Most beds in china are the equivalent of our box spring with a thin layer of foam. Our Beijing nights were, literally, a little hard. )

We get our girl tomorrow at 3 pm!! Good night for now!
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Temple of Heaven

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The Great Wall of China

Travel to Beijing and the Great Wall

Its a darn big wall

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In route to the Great Wall

Well, its Saturday morning in Beijing, and we are on our way to visit the Great Wall of China. It's about a 2 hour drive from downtown Beijing. On the way, we are also going to visit a jade factory. Tonight, after all the sightseeing, we will return to the hotel, freshen up, and then go to see an acrobatic show of some sort. Should be fun!!

Here's some observations so far:
1. Traffic is awful! My dad would never tolerate this amount of vehicle congestion.
2. They don't use car seats. Looking out the window of our bus, I can see a 2 year old girl sitting in the front passenger seat on the lap of an adult. Weird.
3. There is a lot of police around. Dan got a pic of some standing on the street corner, holding machine guns. Yikes!
4. Soda is really cheap!! My beloved Diet Coke cost me 40 cents a bottle!!

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In route to the Great Wall

Well, its Saturday morning in Beijing, and we are on our way to visit the Great Wall of China. It's about a 2 hour drive from downtown Beijing. On the way, we are also going to visit a jade factory. Tonight, after all the sightseeing, we will return to the hotel, freshen up, and then go to see an acrobatic show of some sort. Should be fun!!

Here's some observations so far:
1. Traffic is awful! My dad would never tolerate this amount of vehicle congestion.
2. They don't use car seats. Looking out the window of our bus, I can see a 2 year old girl sitting in the front passenger seat on the lap of an adult. Weird.
3. There is a lot of police around. Dan got a pic of some standing on the street corner, holding machine guns. Yikes!
4. Soda is really cheap!! My beloved Diet Coke cost me 40 cents a bottle!!

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Safe and Sound in Beijing

Well, I am happy to report that we've arrived at our hotel in Beijing.  We were only thermo-scanned twice in the airport, so perhaps that whole swine flu thing has died down a bit.  :-) Thankfully, we had an uneventful flight and even arrived 40 minutes early. During the trip, Dan watched THREE movies, read a little and slept alot.  Me? Well, I just watched 1.5 movies... then napped.  And, napped some more.    Speaking of sleep, it's come to be that time for us.  The 12 hour time change is haunting me, so I'm off to bed.  We need our rest for the Great Wall tomorrow! Bye for now, Lori & Dan Lori M. Baylor

Our friend- the TV

See what I mean? Of course- I have no idea what will be on the TV!
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Airplane update

We were really excited to learn that our plane wasn't entirely full. Dan and I were assigned seat 'A' and seat 'C'. We assumed that meant that we would have an empty seat 'B' between us.

We were wrong.

A is a window. B is an aisle. C is the other aisle, and the first of 5 seats together in this big 'ole plane. But our row is also the first row of coach which means lots of leg room. So we weren't sitting together. Ok. No problem. UNTIL.. We discovered that Dan's seat lacked a personal TV. Every else has a personal TV except this row!! Are you kidding me? For Dan, its like missing his pancreas!!

Never fear. I fixed it. A quick "run" back to the check-in lady got us seats together, with TVs , in the upgraded economy plus. Dan's happy. And, now I'm signing off! More later- from Beijing!!!
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In DC: round 1 complete

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Going to China... TOMORROW!

Wow! It's hard to believe.

A last minute change of plans

Well, my blood pressure has certainly reached an all-time high the past few days. Vacation. Packing. Unpacking. Laundry. First day of school. 20 thousand forms for the first day of school. Last minute 'must do' work stuff. AND- a phone call at 4:50 pm on Tuesday.... the phone call was from Zhou.

Zhou is concerned about our flight itinerary. He's afraid we will miss our international flight. So, he wants us to change our outbound domestic flight from our home airport to DC. As is currently stands, our flight arrives in DC at 11:36. Our flight to Beijing leaves at 12:15. There is no way that we'll make our connection!! It'll take 20 minutes for the plane to land, taxi, and unload!! UGH!! Needless to say, I was a little frustrated with the travel agent for making such a close connection. Zhou apparently read her the riot act for scheduling the flight!! Frankly, I didn't look at the itinerary THAT close. I just knew that we needed to leave the house by 7 am.

UPDATE: Phew! What a relief!! The travel agent managed to get our flight changed (and the flights for several other families). She apparently called in a favor to United Airlines, allowing us to change fights without paying the enormous 're-ticket' fee. Now, we fly out at 6:10 am and arrive in DC by 7:30. With a 5 hour layover, we'll have plenty of time to make our connection!

How old are these kids??

The kids always seem to surprise me.... I'm surprised by their rapid growth. I'm surprised by what they do. And, I'm most often surprised by the darn things they say. Here's an example from Sunday:

Sara: "Mummy- I wike a camera and a ipod for my bwah-day. I be free years old!"

Me: "No way! Are you kiddin' me? How 'bout a new Dora doll?"

Sara: "No. Wanna camera and ipod."


Now, I know that all the grandparents read the blog. So, allow me to add just a few comments... she's three. She ain't getting a camera or an ipod. Dora doll? Yes. Breakable, expensive electronics? Uh-no.

Fast forward to today. Seth is counting the money in his wallet, which now includes an extra $1 for the tooth that he lost at the beach.

Seth: "Ma- I got TEN dollars in my wallet! TEN WHOLE DOLLARS! Woo Hoo!"

Me: "Wow Seth- that's a lot of money for a 1st grader"

Seth: "Ya well... I think I need a credit card, you know, to put in my wallet with my ten dollars."

WHAT!!???

The revenge of Hurricane Bill

We are fine. No hurricane here in NC. But- the effect of the hurricane is definitely present!! There is no beach today. Seriously. The big wide sandy beach is all under water. This photo is of Dan, standing at the bottom of our deck stairs. The red flag is flying with a 'no swimming' sign below. Notice how close the water gets to his feet. Good thing that we have a pool!
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I want to hear her scream...

I know. I know. It's sounds like an awfully strange request. I want to hear her scream on 'gotcha' day. I really do want her to...well, cry. Maybe not scream. And, I really want to hear it.

Screaming and/or crying is sign of attachment. It's a sign that she is attached to her current caregivers at the orphanage. And, ironically enough, that's a good thing. A child that is currently "attached" has a greater capacity for attachment and is more likely to attach to us sooner. That's a lot of psychological mumbo-jumbo, eh? Well, it's important nonetheless.

Selfishly, I really want to hear her cry when she first meets me. I missed the symbolic 'first cry' with both Seth and Sara (I was under general anesthesia... ) ; I'm not going to miss this one.

Not what I expected

Photos of Huayou with a cake and a buzz cut. :-(

I got pictures a few days ago from Ladybugs n Love. Remember?? I sent a cake to Huayou in attempt to provide some "fun" and get some smiling photos. Well, my plan backfired. The orphanage sent a note along with the photos that said "Huayou was shocked by the unexpected celebration, but the other kids really enjoyed it."

Frankly, I'm a little heartbroken. What kid doesn't like icing?? But, she looks sooo sad and possibly even terrified. All the attention? I don't know. But, this little girl is clearly suffering and I just want to get her outta there.

8 more days 'til China

12 more days 'til Gotcha (gosh- that's such a weird term for me)

Relaxing

In a strange twist of fate, we are relaxing at the beach this week. You know, its not like we have anything else to do, right??? Did I mention that we leave for China in 9 days???
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The crazy way that things can go wrong...

After all the planning, organizing, waiting, and preparation, so much of international adoption is still a crap shoot. So much can still go wrong. It's not probable, but it is possible. Being an absolute control-freak, I've tried to prepare for every possible scenario. My paperwork is copied, color-coded, and scanned. The bags are organized in such a way that we can survive temporarily if one is misplaced by United Airlines, etc. You get the idea. But, how exactly does one prepare for something like this? Here's the international adoption process, effective July 1, 2009:

1. Complete masses of paperwork. Travel to China. Adopt. Assume responsibility for child.
2. Have child tested for TB.
3. If child tests positive for TB, stay in China for 2-6 months, as child will not be allowed to travel to the US, but is no longer the responsibility of anyone in China. What if you can't stay? What if you, say, have a job? or another child at home? Or, I don't know, perhaps only have a Chinese Visa that allows you to stay in China for 30 days. (By the way- that's pretty common. 30 day visas are the norm.) Then what?

The new rules have good intentions, but have produced the wrong outcome. Check out what this family has endured as they had to leave their new adopted 4 year old daughter in China.

Granted, no one wants TB infiltrating the US. But, the US will issue a travel visa to any Tom, Dick, or Harry without submitting them to a TB test. If the child in question was their biological child, born abroad, with or without TB, she would've been granted a visa without question. Again- the CDC has good intentions. They just didn't think this one through.

Two more weeks

It's hard to believe that summer is coming to an end. Frankly, I'm still waiting for the weather to feel like summer. Nonetheless, the end of August is just around the corner. Soon, the pool will close. School will start. And, well.... we will be on a big 'ole plane flying across the big 'ole pond. Two weeks. Just two more weeks.

I must be "nesting"

I must be "nesting."

I vacuumed the garage today.

Yes- vacuumed.....with a Hoover.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Wow! It's been a hectic week. But, WE HAVE OUR FLIGHTS!! Woo Hoo!! By plane, possibly train, and definitely automobile... we are off to China in just a few short weeks. Here's a brief overview:

Aug 27: Dan and Lori depart for Beijing

Aug 28: Dan and Lori arrive in Beijing

Aug 30: Dan and Lori leave Beijing, fly out to Huayou's providence, Chongqing

Aug 31: GOTCHA DAY! (I know- it's a silly name)

Sept 3: Jen departs USA

Sept 4: Jen arrives in Hong Kong. Switches planes. Heads out to Guangzhou
Dan, Lori, and Huayou leave Chongqing, depart for Guangzhou.
If all goes well.... Dan, Lori, Huayou, and Jen all arrive at Guangzhou airport by 6:30 pm

Sept 5: Dan leaves China via Hong Kong at 12:30 pm.
Dan arrives at O'Hare at 2:30 pm. Huh. Short flight?? No. Just a 12 hour time difference!!

Sept 8: Lori, Huayou, and Jen visit US embassy in Guangzhou

Sept 10: Lori, Huayou, and Jen leave China via Hong Kong.

Later that same night, we are all reunited. And, our Party of Five is official complete.

It's the final countdown....

Ladybugs-n-Love

Ladybugs-n-Love is actually a China-based business run by a woman named Angela. She in the business of helping adoptive parents acquire information and send care packages to their waiting children in the Chinese orphanages.

It's a brilliant business model really. She kinda serves as our liaison to our child before we arrive. She will call the orphanage. She will send care packages. And, she will translate letters. And, I can purchase all of this with a mere click of the mouse. I don't have to shop, ship, or worry about import taxes. Angela takes care of everything. The trick? She has an American based co-founder who manages the US website. I pay for my care package via PayPal (another great perk in my book). Then, the funds get transferred to Angela who shops and ships everything within China (hence - no outrageous shipping or import taxes, etc). Again - a brilliant idea!!

In the three months that we've been waiting for our daughter, I've used this service three times. Well, technically.. I used Ann of Red Thread of China for the first two packages. But, same thing. ANYWAY- Angela offered a unique service: a phone call to the orphanage with 10 questions. We got the answers today!! Here's the email from Angela:

Hi Lori,
I have received update for you today. The orphanage is going to send me pictures in a few days. Here is the info I got:

What do they call her?
You You.

Does she have a special toy or blanket?
No. You You likes some colorful toys that can make sound.

How does she like to be comforted?
Hold her, pat her back gently and take her out for a walk.

What makes her happy/ what does she like to do? Special friends?
Play hide and seek (peekaboo) with her.
Her friends are Hua Jian, Hua Ying, etc.

What is her personality like?
She is introverted.

Are there things that she does not like or that scare her?
You You is afraid strangers talk to her loudly.

(UH OH- wait 'til she meets Sara. A very LOUD stranger. Hopefully, her petite size will offset her very loud mannerisms!!)

What words is she saying?
She can say some simple sounds.

Is she still with a foster family? If yes, how long has she been with them? If no, how long was she there?
No.


Her updated measurements:
Height: 74cm; Weight: 8.8kg; Head: 44cm; Chest: 46cm; Teeth: 8; Foot: 11cm.

Anything else would like to tell her family?
She can walk a few step alone now.

I will get back to you as soon as I receive pictures!
Have a great day!!!
Angela